The Crush House

A fun and frenetic reality TV sim, The Crush House delivers thoughtful commentary on virtual voyeurism.

A clever and triumphantly unfun immersive sim that challenges you to find the humanity in a timeless parody of 90s reality TV.

The Crush House feels like a victim of its own confidence. It’s so self-sure of its premise and big-brained twist that it fails to dig a little deeper under the surface to actually justify any of it. The gameplay itself is incredibly shallow and dull when it isn’t being a frustrating exercise in dice-rolling. The characters are basically all the same person and interact with each other the same ways, repeating the same small set of possible events over and over. Your involvement in the whole equation is to sit there and watch, and hope the emojis and numbers on the screen are doing the good thing instead of irritating you. The payoff is just as shallow as the gameplay, making the whole subversive twist as commentary gimmick a bust.

As is the case with an actual reality show, I’m left grappling with conflicting feelings when I roll credits on The Crush House. It’s a sharp social satire wrapped up in one of the funniest puzzle games I’ve ever played, but the mechanical simulation leaves me wanting more. As I sit down to map out my criticisms, that’s when it hits me: I’m an emoji in my own audience segment. Maybe The Crush House would playfully nickname me a “snob,” one who keeps saying the term “high-concept” in the chat at random intervals. Maybe the things I’d want to see would clash with an audience hungry for this sleeker design that’s still perfectly functional and creative. The Crush House serves as a reminder that you can’t please everybody, or else you’ll end up in the backyard filming lawn gnomes.

While the more randomized elements of The Crush House can make it frustrating at times, this "thirst-person shooter" still delivers quite the unique and fun experience. After all, how many games can claim that they provide a challenge in seeing if players can find a way to capture three butts on camera at once while also getting a glimpse of the Success Slide in order to please both the Conspiracy Theorists and Mega Fans? Throw in a good spoof of reality shows with a memorable cast and some bright '90s Malibu visuals, and you have something worth toasting over with a nice glass of Crush Juice...

But whether you’re doing those soul-crushing tasks in a meta way or not, the game is still making you do them – and making you do them over and over again to uncover a secret that, really, isn’t all that interesting. Crush House tries its hardest to make it all seem fascinating, but, ultimately, there’s just not enough here to make it so.

The Crush House is interesting at first, with a really novel concept and controls that are really easy to pick up, but its innovative aspect and replayability don’t last for long. Between its repetitive nature and predictable plot twists, you’ll only get a true kick out of it if you’re really into celebrity culture, trash television reality shows, and don’t mind some unsubtle jabs at consumerism, “bread and circus” mentality, and so on. Even if it didn’t wow me that much, I can’t call it a bad game. Also, if anything, it’s a stupidly creative title. It just needed a bit more substance.

Nerial leaves cards and cheating aside to bring us The Crush House, a very original reality show simulator that reminds us that keeping everyone happy is impossible. The most interesting part is in the story, which is revealed little by little and, although it is predictable, it has two endings, which gives the title a certain replayability. In short, an ideal videogame to bring out the Kubrick that hides inside each of us.

The Crush House may have an imaginative concept, but the game fails to portray its characters well or deliver a satisfying conclusion to the story.

While it doesn't fully capture the reality TV experience, I really enjoyed the ideas presented by The Crush House and would love to see a sequel down the line which builds upon them.